| This weekend was great.... All I did was party the whole time!!! I was lovin it pretty much!! The lake is the best ... EVEN IF THE WATER IS SORTA CHILLY!! HAHAHA!!
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| Sometimes pretending like you are perfect around people that are pretending like they are perfect is a total drag!! And I've decided that no longer will I be part of that!!!:)
BUSY weekend ahead of me... SOOO much to do ... but as for the past couple days with no class to go to I've simply slept in and stayed up late.. hahaha oh how I love this life.. but I probably should get a job... but what ? I don't know what I want to do with my life and I hate working so I can't make any rash decisions!!!! but soon enough I will figure it out... well I better get to mowing the grass... I gota do my part!!
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| So today Zac proved to me once again without a shadow of a doubt he is the man I am meant to spend the rest of my life with. I finally broke down and went to the doctor for my headaches today , part of me went because I was scaring my family and the other part went because it was starting to scare me too.
( For those of you who don't know ... for about the past 2 1/2 weeks I've been having the most severe headaches I've ever had in my whole life... and for about the past 3 days they have been followed with blurred vision, dizziness, blackouts and just major discomfort. I've also been having memory loss... sometimes I forget who I talked to , what I'm saying , where I am going and just really crazy stuff like that. It was scaring everyone because in 1991 I lost my mother to a brain anyurism)
.... well anyway.... We got to the doctor this afternoon and I told him what was going on and I had a blackout spell right there in the office it was kinda crazy because he got to see exactly what I was talking about. Zac was there holding my hand the whole time... and when I got done with my whole black out thing Zac was there telling the doctor everything I couldn't. Even things I had forgotten about like a few weeks ago when I fell asleep on the couch and he tried to wake me up and he couldn't for about 5 minutes and I waas trying to talk to him after I did wake up and I couldn't get my speech out correctly ( which sounded a lot like what my grandma was doing about a month ago before her brain surgery.) Well they ordered me a CT. Scan and also a Sinus Scan at the hospital. Well that was after they gave me a shot in the BUTT!!! man that doesn't feel good. When we got to the hospital my head was still killing me and my back and neck too. I didn't feel good but I was sorta starting to get use to the way I was feeling. Well anyway they did the test which was super crazy for anyone who has never had one don't because inside that machine and yes they put you inside a machine it smells soooo weird ugh it was sick. They came back and told me that my things looked pretty good and they thought I was suffering from severe tension headaches. I guess it all makes sense they gave me some meds that are supposed to calm me down, reduce the swelling of my brain and also a pill for the pain. I hope it all works though because I'm sick of being sick.
Well back to why Zac is so amazing... he knew exactly what to do for me these past couple weeks he is what has kept me from freaking out. He knew what to do today when I was at the doctors office , he remembered things I couldn't , he told them things I didn't , and he held my hand the whole way. Afterwards he said he has been really scared and praying constantly that everything would be ok and he said he felt like this was an answer to his prayers finally knowing what it is that has been wrong. Girls that is true love and man that is your main support, your rock, your best friend and your hand to hold when all you want to do is cry. I once heard that a man that will follow you anywhere is the man that you need to have with you ... I am learning in life that is totally not right , at least not for me... I'm so lucky to have a man that will lead me anywhere and make sure that is always the best possible thing I can do for myself. He is amazing and I am soooo lucky!!!
We also have a finance seminar next tuesday at church and I am sooo pumped , learning how God wants us to spend our money ... Biblical ways to deal with it... AHH yes!! Then Marriage Counseling on the 16th ... I love it!!!
oh yeah I have to take my precious daughter Ali ( my new puppy hahaha!!) to get spayed on the 16th also... I am not looking forward to that at all.... I'm going to be sooo worried about her!!!
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| So ... I hate living by myself .. but I love the night... and if I hadn't watched that montel where the girls got raped right outside their houses I would sit outside and look at the stars for hours.
Tonight was a good and bad night... Sarah and I hung out for awhile .. she is my girl I honestly don't know what my life would be like without her... and then we went to my brothers and he had been drinking again... I get so disapointed in him and I know I shouldn't I can't be the one to make up his mind for him. I wish that he would understand that he is such a great guy and sarah loves him so much but he just doesn't see the good in anything.
Zac and I saw Kondo tonight and we talked a little bit about marriage couseling ... we are going to start up again ... its really far before our wedding but we want to make sure we got everything taken care of!!!!
I stayed up all night last night don't ask me why... a lot on my mind... a lot of self struggling... I read my bible for awhile but i still felt like i needed to do more i spent about a half in hour in prayer .. then finally at 7:30 I got out of bed and went to school!!!!
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| SO..... I'm really bored right now ... thats the reason why I'm online typing on xanga.. hahaha:) Zac and my dad are doing work for the church right now... so my dad has consisted of watching what not to wear the british version and painting my nails.... I'm off to take a shower soon!!! Hahaha!!!
Well I'll write more later!
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